This week I did something I haven’t done in a long time. I sat down and finished 30 pages in a scrapbook. I have been plagued by guilt that the boys baby albums were not complete. (okay so not even started yet) Jackson my 4 year old has several albums but not a "baby book", and Joshua... well he doesn’t even have a picture on the wall yet. Why did this make me feel guilty you ask?? I am... are you ready for this... a CREATIVE MEMORIES CONSULTANT! ( a unit leader in our company to be exact). I have been a consultant for 8 years! I have completed over 25 albums and love having them finished and able to be shared. My nephews love (or at least when they were little) looking through the pages and reliving the stories. Jackson has a little book that is his and he will just look at it for hours... I KNOW how important it is to tell the stories that make up our lives. I don’t care one bit about the paper, and decorations. I care about the photos and the stories. So why then do you ask did my kids not have finished baby books? I was scared they would not be right... See while I might not care about the paper and decorations, I see friends albums that are so beautiful and creative. Now I can get over this my albums but the boys baby books they have to be perfect don’t they??? We have a saying among consultants, done is better than perfect... and while I know this to be true I wasn’t living it. My upline and friend Dee Dee has been telling me for 4 years how I would be upset with myself if I let it go to long and then I did... it is almost like that shirt you borrowed in college you forgot to take back when you finished wearing it... You were late, then you were later and then you were embarrassed you were so late so really why take it back at all... I haven’t started on Joshua’s cause Jackson’s wasn’t done, I wasn’t doing the family album because their albums weren’t done. THIS IS A HORRIABLE cycle to be in. I have done trips, I have done Christmas cards, I have done digital but was so lacking on these.
Then on February 13th everything changed. I was actually at a Creative Memories conference when Brian called me to tell me he was rushing Joshua to the hospital. (I’ll tell his story in a later post) As my great friend Hillary was driving me the 5 hours home all I could think about is I haven’t told Joshua's story yet, what happens if he doesn’t make it? Dee Dee had shared with me a few years ago when her cousin lost her son that her cousin was so thankful her albums were up to date because she was able to look back on them and see the happy times, she could see her son in the glory that she remembered and she didn’t have to go back to do the albums with the loss fresh in her mind but could use her albums as a healing tool. My friend Hillary, who was driving me home, also has a knowledge of this, she lost her 14 month old daughter to a drowning at her daycare providers home. I have seen her albums be great comfort to her and I have seen her heart break when she is finishing them now that Natalie is gone. It breaks my heart that she is suffering this pain .
Then we came home from the hospital and as you all know there was NO time for thinking about album making. Then this week happened. I read about 2 different D children losing their battle with this crappy disease. I had not heard about "dead in the bed syndrome". I wish to God there wasn’t a name for it and that it wasn’t real. It has caused me much less sleep then I was already getting but on top of it, it made me realize that just because we have dodged the first bullet it doesn’t mean that we aren’t still in the middle of the war. The next thing that happened was Jackson turned 4 on the 26th. On his birthday we were looking at photos on the wall and he said "mommy can I see pictures of me as a baby?" I said "Yes, let’s go look on the computer" I then preceded to spend the next 30 mins showing my son his 1st year on the computer screen. With the click of each mouse I felt a twinge of guilt... do I want my son to grow up without an album with my handwriting? Do I want my computer to crash and I LOSE EVERYTHING from the last 4 years? What would it mean to me to have an album about me in my mom's handwriting?
It was right then that I decided to pull out my table and put out my traditional scrapbook stuff (I have been doing all digital lately and while it is easier and less mess I have all these pictures printed and the album kits to use already). The first day, I was able to get 30 pages done, I haven’t been able to get much more done this week. I have tax appointment to prep for and laundry to do and *fill-in the blank with 80 more things* but, I have been going back to it every once in a while to crop a picture, add a journaling box etc. It won’t be my most creative album when it is done but it will be my favorite, until Joshua's that is. My goal is to finish Jackson's 1st year and then skip ahead to Joshua's 1st year. Then I’ll go back to fill in the middle
So what do you do with your photos? How do you find the time? If you could complete one album what would it be and why?