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Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Judgement

The other day, I was stunned by this man at home depot. Joshua and I were shopping minding our own business when this man leaned over and said something to Joshua. It caught my attention and so I looked up. He said “how old is he… he is cute”.  I said “21 months”.  He said “well don’t you think he needs to take the pacifier out of his mouth”.  Now... in this moment I had 2 choices ignore him or educate him.  So I feeling rather brave choose the later.  I said to this man.  “Well you know what, it is past his nap time but I have to finish this shopping”.  He said “yes, but really he is a boy... no more pacifiers”.  I said oh so sweetly... “Sir he is a type 1 insulin dependent diabetic.  In order to keep him alive I have to give him a shot with everything he eats or drinks outside of water.  I have to test his blood with a finger prick apx 10 times a day.  I can’t just give him milk or snacks to keep him occupied as we are past nap time.  So I choose to let him have a pacifier.  He will not go to college with it I promise”.  He proceeded to say something under his breath and walk away.  Here is my issue.  I am judged everyday about everything, from my 4 year misbehaving in a store, preschool, thanksgiving dinner or just while I am on the phone.  I am judged when people see me prick my son’s finger, whip out the calculator and then do math for a correction.  I am judged when I am at a friend’s house and I have to ask to see the nutrition guide for the snack they are serving to know how many carbs are there.  I am judged when people learn my 21 month has T1. (I have been asked what I fed him prior to his dx)
I don’t need to be judged for allowing my teething, tired, grumpy 21 month old to use his "binky".  He normally only gets it at bed time this happened to be a special circumstance.  With Jackson we moved to nap time only at 19 months and no binky at 2.  Who knows what we will do this time but I am not taking this away yet from him.  Hey mister, “Your kid can eat a bowl full of goldfish with no complications... so don’t talk to me about he shouldn’t have a binky.. Guess what he shouldn’t have Type 1 either.”
Earlier this week  Hallie wrote about her sleeping habits with Sweetpea. The sleeping issue got me thinking those that judge us for sleeping with our kids probably do not have children that have chronic illnesses..  They can go to bed knowing that if their children have a bad dream they will wake up and come get them.  Little do they know that our bad dream can come true.  I’m not sure why this got me so worked up... but it did.  REALLY in life we need to support each other and move on.  I was so proud of the DOC who responded back to Hallie with lots of kudos and kind words.  I never thought I would be one to let my boys sleep in the bed but given the year we have had if Jackson wants to snuggle I will let him.  Joshua is harder because he is in the crib and he thinks it is play time in mommy’s bed. I also believe they need to be able to sleep on their own but after that it is all about choice... I know I am preaching to the choir on this one but I had to get it out.. The people who judge me for giving Joshua a cookie, a binky, or whatever else need to sleep a night in my house and then they can pass judgment...

Ps… Thank you to Pj’s for a cure!  Brian won these for me from the great Pj Give away.. (Thanks Kris from Sugar Bugs for picking him).  As soon as he gave them to me tonight they went right on.  I LOVE them and they are super comfy!! ps not my best picture ever but wanted you to see how great they are...

11 comments:

  1. You look so cute in your Jammies!!!

    Yeah, I hear you on the "d" front...the judgement front...etc. It sounds like you handled it with grace. Honestly people have NO idea how much of our lives and our children's lives it affects.

    Love ya Shannon.

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  2. Love the jammies!!! And you are so right, people need to keep their mouths shut and opinions to themselves. We all do what we need to do. You handled it well, much better than me, who probably would have said a curse word in the mix :0)

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  3. Okay. I'm saying it. That guy's a jerk. Mind your own business dude! Let him suck away!!!!

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  4. Why can't everyone just be nice to each other?! Such a simple concept.....Sigh....

    Your PJ's are adorable!

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  5. It's not like he's 15... my lord! It is one thing to have an opinion, but to flap about it when you haven't been asked... ridiculous!

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  6. wow... you are a very classy woman and I think you handled a very abrasive situation with grace & education.

    a little bit of critical thinking goes a very long way.... I hope he thinks first about others and all that he just might not know the next time he feels compelled to say something.

    And by the way... two is NOT a medical concern...just because pediatric dentistry is near to my heart- i thought i would share that according to the American Academy of Pediatric Dentistry:

    "Thumb and pacifier sucking habits will generally only become a problem if they go on for a very long period of time. (the upper front teeth may tip toward the lip or not come in properly and may affect the bite) Most children stop these habits on their own, but if they are still sucking their thumbs or fingers past the age of three or four, speak with your pediatric dentist."

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  7. Yea - that guy needs to mind his own stinkin' business! You handled it better than I would have!! Way to educate!!

    Love the jammies - congrats on winning!

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  8. Love the PJ's and LOVE how you stood up to the guy! I wouldn't have been able to come up with such great come backs in such a pinch! You go girl! And who the heck cares about what a jerk like that thinks? Rude-y McRuderson needs to get a life!

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  9. Good for you for standing up to him! The thought of all he said, just has my blood boiling for you! By the way, my kids did not get rid of their pacifier until 3 and it was not that hard or traumatic for them. With my second I was glad I let her have it that long and didn't worry about it at all.

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  10. You know what...good for you! I felt the same way about Adam and his paci. He was a few months over 3 before we made him give it up - and frankly, he'd been through so much in his short life (cleft lip, cataract at 9 months, wearing a hard contact lens) that I thought - screw it, it comforts him, so so be it. He didn't even TAKE a paci until 9 months old when we had to calm him to put his contact in.

    So, I hear you. I still have those pacis up in my closet. :) And now that he's 4 and a diabetic...I wish I could give him one to comfort him sometimes.

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  11. People love to judge one another, don't they? Welcome to motherhood. We get judged for everything. Before my son's diagnoses, I had a chip on my shoulder about the questions we received on homeschooling. Now I have one on the other shoulder over diabetes. I guess that makes me balanced out. One on each shoulder. heehee. Anyway, just wait until he is a little older and then they judge HIM. The mama bear really comes out then. Nice to meet you!

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