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Monday, November 29, 2010

My Jackson!

In honor of special sibling of a D- Kid day!

Jackson is just 4 years old.  At just 4 he should be carefree and not worrying about things that he does.  Before Joshua was born, Jackson would talk to him, sign to my belly and try to listen to the heart beat.  When Joshua was born, he could have really cared less.  He thought it was cute to have a baby but he was pretty oblivious to this little person who had invaded his home.  I would say he was also pretty upset about how much time Mommy spent with him.    Today at lunch my "little man" made me cry.  The waitress accidently took Joshua's burger away before we were done.  He was devastated.  I asked him why he was upset. He looked at me and said mommy, I’m worried Joshua is going to go low.  How life has changed in less then 1 year.  When Joshua was dxed. Jackson was not yet 4.  He had to give his mommy up for 6 long days.  Daddy came home only to shower and kiss him goodnight.  He didn’t understand any of this.  We didn’t understand any of this.  When we came home and picked him up from my mom, I found a feverish little boy who had no energy and was wheezing something fierce.  We scooped him up and off to the doctor we went.  We still had our id bracelets on and Joshua in tow.  When we got to the doctors. They couldn’t believe that our 11 month old was dx with diabetes. We spent 30 mins discussing this instead of discussing Jackson's status.  We ended up having to take him to the hospital for a chest xray and it was pneumonia.  This was hard to deal with. This was the first time that D forced Jax to take a back seat.  When Jackson had his end of the year report card from preschool last year, his teacher said , he is the only one that knew his full name, address and phone number.  Jackson and I have role played him having to call 911 and if he were to get lost what would he say. he has this entire script down the cutie.. When he meets someone he introduces himself first and then always tells them my brother has Diabetes.   He has become so protective and loving... yet of course he is a 4 year old boy. He gets frustrated and irritated when Joshua takes his toy, or when Joshua is screaming.  I can tell you Jackson can been in the middle of a full on tantrum and Ill say Joshua is low I need to deal with this. He will stop instantly... He is an amazing, strong, smart, and beautiful boy.  He prays daily for a cure for his brother.  (he always forgets a cure for daddy) Every day when we sit at a meal he pretends to test his sugar.  (He has let me test it 2 times when I was having a very worried moment due to extreme thirst and throwing up) He was excited when his great aunt just gave him a calculator because he would be able to  help with Joshua’s carbs!
I love you Jackson, I love your heart, I love that you are a boy, a real boy and yet you cry when you are worried about your brother, and you want to still snuggle with me.  I love that you will help to care for your brother as you get older.  I love that you have memorized your address and phone number incase Joshua needs you.  It breaks my heart that you have to carry this burden.  It makes me flinch every time you beg for a baby sister and I think to myself, I don’t think I have more to give.  I love you dearly and I love our date time when it is just us.  You little man have my heart forever and ever.  I love you!







7 comments:

  1. Dear Jackson,
    You are an amazing brother. What a blessing you must be to everyone who has the honor of knowing you! You are very special. Don't ever forget that and always hold your head up high.
    Much Love,
    The Rose Family

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  2. What beautiful boys you've got!! And Jackson sounds like such a great big brother!

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  3. What a great big brother! Your boys re so stinkin cute!!!!! SO CUTE!!

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  4. Jackson....so many times in the days and years to come you will surpass expectations and amaze us all with your compassion. you have a soft heart and a strong will. you are the big brother that little brothers dream of. when the sun shines in your hair and the smile comes across your face...every thing, every little thing, in the world is just a little bit brighter. i have loved spending 4 years getting to know you... and i am kind of looking forward to a lifetime to keep this going.

    p.s. please, always think i'm cool, even when i am old.

    p.p.s. as long as I can remember, you have had music in your soul. not gonna lie- you are pretty much a rock star. that video made my month.

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  5. I am such a lucky man. I have a beautiful and amazing wife. I have two wonderful boys that mean the world to me. With all of the drama we have been through, I wouldn't dream of changing a thing. Our family is as perfect as I could imagine. Go Team Davis!

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  6. What an amazing, sweet, bright, adorable older brother! He is a blessing for sure!

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  7. Those kiddos are adorable, and Jackson is one special guy. Joshua is lucky to have a big brother looking out for him.

    And thank you for your sweet comment on my blog anniversary post... You made me cry. I am so glad your Mom and sister found me and the rest of the DOC.

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