Sunday, February 13, 2011

One year ago today

One year ago today I was out of town, Brian was home with boys. We didn't know it but Joshua had been silently fighting for his life for months and now he was within a few hours of loosing his battle. His body was fighting itself and we had no idea. His body was shutting down, his BG was over 1260. He was dying.  The doctors later told us we had just a few hours before we lost him. They had been observing him for several hours thinking he just had the flu.  We are so thankful for the doctor who finally realized he wasn't fighting a flu but something far more lethal.  It took my girlfriend 6 long hours to get me home. The only thing I had to go on was this photo my brother sent me, because I needed to see him. 
This is not what he looked like when I left for the trip.  In less then 12 hours his body had given up the fight. 
Joshua fought, we learned and together we have survived this year.  Today is his one year D- Day. We were going to have a quiet day today go to church, go meet the in-laws for dinner and just really enjoy each other and celebrate in the fact that we have survived.  
Someone had other plans.  All year I have said Glucagon is the best $200 I spent, it is my insurance plan.  Well tonight, at 2:30 am on our 1 year anniversary lucky me I got to use it.   
In a year we haven't had numbers as good as we did these past 2 days.  I thought "okay, yes we can have good numbers".  *Remember Joshua is supposed to be between 150-350 overnight. He is 23 months old so the doctors are more cautious with his numbers.  
He went to bed with a good 143 and 12 carbs uncovered. At midnight he was 118 so we tried to do banana (he can eat one in his sleep), he refused, we tried milk, he refused, we tried apple juice, he refused, we tried icing he refused, we couldn't get him to take anything.  He then 30 minutes later drank 4 oz of apple juice after I begged him to... have you ever tried to beg a 23 month old to do something... well in less then 5 minutes he threw it all up! EVERYTHING came up!  I retested and he was down to a 77.  
So I called our on call doc. He says pull out the glucagon and give 10 units on our syringe.  
THIS scared me to death, I am not sure why but I think I would have been better with him telling me to come to the ER.  All I could think in the back of my head was all the wonderful posts I have read lately about other D momma's who have had to whip out that red box and break the seal.  I walked around the kitchen saying " I will not be scared of the glucagon, I will not be scared of the glucagon."  We retested just before giving it and he had gone up to 88.  Okay I thought maybe we wont have to use it maybe some of the juice got absorbed.  He wanted his binkie so I put some icing on it and he took it.  Retest and up to 92.  "Okay great now i know we wont have to use it!!" 5 minutes later he thew up again. Retest back down.  Retest in 10 minutes and back down again.  This time I knew we would have to use it.   
So I took a deep breath and mixed it.  I wasn't giving it as a matter of life or death and I never thought you would use it at a 77 or above. Instead it was given as a way to avoid a life or death situation, tonight it was used as a tool.  Tonight I was reminded that there is so much more I still need to learn about this new road we are on. Tonight I was reminded that no matter what Diabetes doesn't play fair.  
 So after 30 minutes he was up to 199.  Then 1 hour later he is at 277.  I was reading protocol online and it seems as though my doctor had me a give a TON for his age.  10 units???  I don't know if it is because he uses the smaller syringe.  But 10 units seems like a lot in comparison with the other stories I have read.  I have chosen to give him .5 units of insulin since he is jumping so quickly.  This is the first time I have chosen to do something on my own for him with out consulting the doctor first.  I think he is going to be in the 400's if I dont put a little on board.  I may have to eat these words if at 7 am we are still yo yoing around.  30 minutes after the insulin was on board he was at 270. so at least he is holding steady.  
This is not how I planned to spend our celebration day and yet it just seems so fitting doesn't it??  
Please remember I am not a doctor and I recommend you contact your personal endo before choosing to follow my example. 
Here are some good blogs I could find tonight on using the mini glucagon technique. If you have one you would like me to add please email me and I will add it.  
Beta Buddies
This is Caleb
Justice's Misbehaving Pancreas


  1. Oh Gosh...I wasn't planning on your post taking such a "turn" Shannon. I thought it was going to be a Diaversary Post...and then the Glucagon Box comes out.

    You did great. I hope Joshua is doing better this morning and that you were able to at least get a little sleep. I am so glad that we have Glucagon at our finger tips for the minidosing protocol. It makes those scary situations more "unscary"...if that makes any sense. And...I am with you, that sounds like a BIG dose for a LITTLE guy.

    Love to you and your family today.

    Thanks for the link.

  2. ((big hugs)) What a crazy day! One year, you have all made it and you are stronger for it! I hope you get some good rest and Joshua is feeling better soon. Sending much love to you and your family today!

  3. Oh geez! What a way to celebrate the day! You were so brave! I'm so glad he came up... And I hope the night wasn't terrible. Praying you can enjoy your day!

  4. Shannon! Sounds likes you handled it beautifully. I dread the day I have to use glucagon for any reason but I am so thankful that I have all of you and your experience to learn from. I hope your day today is a better one...

  5. Great job Momma... that would have freaked me out for sure. We've never had to use it and I'm praying we never have to, but it's nice to know we have the option of the mini glucagon shot when the circumstances warrant it.

  6. Hope your day is better and Joshua is feeling well now. You handled that great, be proud.

  7. Wowza! What a way to ring in the new year!

    Congrats on keeping your composure. I hope today is calmer and he is feeling better.

  8. Shannon . . . . you had me on the edge of my computer chair with this d-story. My heart just breaks for you havign to go through this, especially with the tendernness you already have with your recent family illnesses. I just want to come over and wrap you up in a big hug!!!!!

    Praying Joshua recovers quickly and that his wonderful, fabulous Mama gets some r-e-s-t!!!!

  9. Oh man!! Our 1st Diaversary was hard enough on me..and then you had to pull out the darn red box too! So sorry :( But it sounds like you have handled it beautifully. Hoping today is a better day.

    Happy D-Day! Think of how much you have grown in a year.

  10. Oh baby, I'm so sorry that this date has been even harder than we already knew it would be. I'm sorry too that you have been fighting lows all day as well as all night. You know that Dad and I are on standby and are ready to walk out the door the minute you call if you need us. I wish I had answers to why he can't hold in the safe numbers and keeps dropping so so low. Hugs and love.

  11. so much has changed in the past year. and so much has stayed the same. your love. your strength. your ability to never give up or give in. when i have my own children i hope i am able to be half the mother you are. i am so proud of you.

  12. To quote my own most recent post... You have come a long way, baby! :)

    GREAT job mama! What you did was tough... but you kept your head on, and you felt your way through with instinct, experience and good judgement. What a way to "celebrate" one year down, hu? :) Thanks to you and Brian, Josh will have many more years.

  13. Sorry you had to mark the dianniversary with that! Hope he's feeling better!

  14. Finally catching up on my blog! You are so brave.

    Lots of posting on the mini-glucagon recently. And I actually like that. It's always been a scary thought to me, but it really shouldn't be that way. NOT having it is the scary thing.

    Anyway, I think you rock and Joshua is so blessed to have you as his mom!

  15. wow. what a heart wrenching story about how sick your son was when he was finally diagnosed. that's what is so hard for me to think about is that my daughter was dying too. while we were carrying on. playing. eating. talking. watching tv. she was dying. and we didn't know it. praise God for all of us and our children. for all of those that just don't get what it means to have juvenile diabetes. jennifer,

  16. I just realized, our daughter was diagnosed
    feb. 15, 2011. two days after you wrote this.