Joshua has his first solo play date scheduled for Wed, so I can be at the hospital checking on things and helping mom. I will drop him off at Megan's house around 8 am then Jackson to school and to the hospital I will go. I will try to be back to Joshua by 1:00 This means she will have a snack to cover at 10 and lunch to check and cover. She is ready she says. I know she is... She is a mother and a RN. I know he will be in great hands.
Then Thursday…yes, 2 in 1 week <I may need drugs to get through this>, my good friends Deanna and Anna will team up and take Joshua till 11:45 and then add Jackson till 1:00. Together they will have 5 children. I know they can do it. I have faith. They are meeting Brian tomorrow during Dads surgery for a play date to try it with supervision first. They have been with me 1-2 times a week for kids stuff all year. They know his moods; they can read him like a book. They too will have snack and lunch to take care of. Then Friday my in-laws have graciously offered to drive down and help out. They will be here for an afternoon session, which means they won’t have too much to do before Brian gets home. They had experience at Sara's wedding and I have complete faith in them too..
So if I have faith in all these people, who are smart, knowledgeable, and educated why when I was calling them was my heart racing, palms sweaty, and FREAKING OUT!! I know I have taken a large step in the right direction getting everything arranged and yet I feel like I may not make it through this.
How do I make sure he has everything he could possibly need... How do I make sure they know it is more than science behind the math it is an art form. How after all the devastation last week in the DOC do I let go. I know they must be scared too.. I would be but they are stepping up. They have faith that our 3 hour training gave them enough knowledge to keep him. Faith is a funny thing. You have to put your entire heart in it or you will not make it to the other side. I have faith. Faith that my dad will be okay, faith that my friends have the knowledge needed, faith that I will pack everything he could need. Faith that this is a hurdle I can jump, and faith in God that if I believe really really hard and actually walk away for a few hours he will be okay when I return.