Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Recative vs Proactive

As I have read several posts from other D Moms I have come to understand that "chasing numbers" is just part of the new normal for us but REALLY when do I get to learn how to be proactive instead of reactive! It seems as though NOTHING I do creates any kind of consistency! I read yall’s post about giving less cause they were going to be running around and giving more cause it was a long lasting carb or something... but right now all I know is if he eats x then do y. I just feel like no matter what I do he is either SUPER HIGH or in the 70's. Our target is 100-200 and I CANT EVER get him to be there for more than 1 test at a time. I get maybe 1 in range number a day! Then there are the times when you just test for peace of mind and he is LOW.. those are the times I think WTH...  I thought the point of filling out these logs every week was so that the Dr. would call with advice and assistance... I guess we dont get that till we go in for an appointement in May???

our formula looks like this
(IF BG is over 200) BG-200 = A, then A/200=B THEN

add Carbs=X, then X/60=Y. Then take Y+B=C (base units of insulin) Then to get our dose since we are on diluted insulin take C*4 =Z

The biggest problem to this is when he is taking a snack every few hours and so the last dose of insulin hasn’t fully corrected

here is our apx schedule:
7 am up and test
Breakfast cover carbs and correct
9:30-10ish 5 oz milk and nap cover
12:30 lunch cover and correct
3:30 snack and nap cover
6:00 dinner cover and correct
8:30 bed snack and cover
12:00 am test
3:00 am test
7 am all over again.

Because I work from home I am now not getting anything done during the day so I work when the kids go to sleep around 8:30-9 pm then finish around midnight with work and I KNOW if I sleep then I’ll miss the 3:00 testing... I just stay up... this is making for a VERY sleepy and grumpy mommy.

HOW DO YOU DO IT!! how did you learn to be proactive and less reactive, what time do you go to bed to be able to do this 3 am testing... what do you do if you know the last insulin dose hasn’t worked fully yet so your numbers are going to be wacky...

Saturday, April 3, 2010

"Done is better then perfect"

This week I did something I haven’t done in a long time. I sat down and finished 30 pages in a scrapbook. I have been plagued by guilt that the boys baby albums were not complete. (okay so not even started yet) Jackson my 4 year old has several albums but not a "baby book", and Joshua... well he doesn’t even have a picture on the wall yet. Why did this make me feel guilty you ask?? I am... are you ready for this... a CREATIVE MEMORIES CONSULTANT! ( a unit leader in our company to be exact). I have been a consultant for 8 years! I have completed over 25 albums and love having them finished and able to be shared. My nephews love (or at least when they were little) looking through the pages and reliving the stories. Jackson has a little book that is his and he will just look at it for hours... I KNOW how important it is to tell the stories that make up our lives. I don’t care one bit about the paper, and decorations. I care about the photos and the stories. So why then do you ask did my kids not have finished baby books? I was scared they would not be right... See while I might not care about the paper and decorations, I see friends albums that are so beautiful and creative. Now I can get over this my albums but the boys baby books they have to be perfect don’t they??? We have a saying among consultants, done is better than perfect... and while I know this to be true I wasn’t living it. My upline and friend Dee Dee has been telling me for 4 years how I would be upset with myself if I let it go to long and then I did... it is almost like that shirt you borrowed in college you forgot to take back when you finished wearing it... You were late, then you were later and then you were embarrassed you were so late so really why take it back at all... I haven’t started on Joshua’s cause Jackson’s wasn’t done, I wasn’t doing the family album because their albums weren’t done. THIS IS A HORRIABLE cycle to be in. I have done trips, I have done Christmas cards, I have done digital but was so lacking on these.
Then on February 13th everything changed. I was actually at a Creative Memories conference when Brian called me to tell me he was rushing Joshua to the hospital. (I’ll tell his story in a later post) As my great friend Hillary was driving me the 5 hours home all I could think about is I haven’t told Joshua's story yet, what happens if he doesn’t make it? Dee Dee had shared with me a few years ago when her cousin lost her son that her cousin was so thankful her albums were up to date because she was able to look back on them and see the happy times, she could see her son in the glory that she remembered and she didn’t have to go back to do the albums with the loss fresh in her mind but could use her albums as a healing tool. My friend Hillary, who was driving me home, also has a knowledge of this, she lost her 14 month old daughter to a drowning at her daycare providers home. I have seen her albums be great comfort to her and I have seen her heart break when she is finishing them now that Natalie is gone. It breaks my heart that she is suffering this pain .

Then we came home from the hospital and as you all know there was NO time for thinking about album making. Then this week happened. I read about 2 different D children losing their battle with this crappy disease. I had not heard about "dead in the bed syndrome". I wish to God there wasn’t a name for it and that it wasn’t real. It has caused me much less sleep then I was already getting but on top of it, it made me realize that just because we have dodged the first bullet it doesn’t mean that we aren’t still in the middle of the war. The next thing that happened was Jackson turned 4 on the 26th. On his birthday we were looking at photos on the wall and he said "mommy can I see pictures of me as a baby?" I said "Yes, let’s go look on the computer" I then preceded to spend the next 30 mins showing my son his 1st year on the computer screen. With the click of each mouse I felt a twinge of guilt... do I want my son to grow up without an album with my handwriting? Do I want my computer to crash and I LOSE EVERYTHING from the last 4 years? What would it mean to me to have an album about me in my mom's handwriting?

It was right then that I decided to pull out my table and put out my traditional scrapbook stuff (I have been doing all digital lately and while it is easier and less mess I have all these pictures printed and the album kits to use already). The first day, I was able to get 30 pages done, I haven’t been able to get much more done this week. I have tax appointment to prep for and laundry to do and *fill-in the blank with 80 more things* but, I have been going back to it every once in a while to crop a picture, add a journaling box etc. It won’t be my most creative album when it is done but it will be my favorite, until Joshua's that is. My goal is to finish Jackson's 1st year and then skip ahead to Joshua's 1st year. Then I’ll go back to fill in the middle

So what do you do with your photos? How do you find the time? If you could complete one album what would it be and why?

Thursday, April 1, 2010


Okay yall~ you don’t know me well yet, but you will I have confidence... I am not someone who HAS to have an order to things, you look in my closet and there are clothes everywhere, look in my bedroom and my husband has to ask is this basket clean or dirty, look in my Tupperware cabinet and you will be searching for matching pieces~ do you get my point? I don’t like clutter and an unorganized house that just seems to be what I have. Everything was okay pre Dx. I would "snap" as my husband called it every week and freak out throwing things away, donating and promising to sell it on Craig’s list. I would put a new "system" in place to help us make it easier... It would work for a day or 2 and then be back to normal life with 2 kids, 2 parents, dog, cat 2 jobs and life.

Fast Forward to 2/13/10 D day... I now MUST have order and need your help. I feel like I am running to stand still trying to catch up to the Diabetes.

1. What system do you have in place for making sure you have everything you need when walking out the door. What is in your packed bag for everyday trips to the store, to drop off brother to preschool. With a 13 month old I feel like I am packing the kitchen sink and I still find I am missing something...

2. Is there a bag you have fallen in love with that you would recommend to keep it all in?

3. What system have you put in place to communicate with your spouse and the dr about the carb intake and BS numbers and insulin consumed?? I have to fax a sheet in every week and I think I have missed the last 2 weeks because we can’t find where someone wrote it down and I don’t want to send in a 1/2 done sheet and they think I’m not giving him his meds. (Since he is so young we are on food first then cover and correct)

4. Do you stick to a strict time schedule or are you more flexible and roll with the punches?

5. What other tricks work for you to keep things rolling???

I am sure once I get this in place I will feel like I can kick D in the butt right?!?!?!?