Winner Winner, Chicken Dinner

Okay so I have never understood that saying at all! but I was struggling for a post title.  I am happy to announce that Jill over at Diabetes Sweeties won the beautiful bracelet! YAHOOO!!  Jill please contact me with in 48 hours to redeem your prize.  I will mail it out this week!  For those of you who didn't get to win remember you can purchase your own beautiful bracelet at http://www.etsy.com/transaction/60404585 if there are none available at the time make sure you contact Katie and she will add more. The profits go to JDRF.  THANKS!!

Extedned Giveaway Deadline

HI!! I wanted to let you know I am extending the giveaway for this awesome bracelet for just a few more days! I willl pick the winner on Friday night after midnight so get those entrys in! The bracelet is BEAUTIFUL and you will love it!!
AWESOME DOC giveaway

A "Bling-away" for the DOC

We are in the last few days of fundraising for our walk on Saturday and have been truly humbled by all the blessings and wonderful donations that have come in to support us on finding a cure.  I am sure if you have done your walk before, then you know how awesome it is to see all the people coming out of the wood work to support you.  This is our first walk. I set a team goal of $2,000. We are doing great on achieving it!  I am confident we will do even better.  It really makes my heart smile when I think of all our family and friends who are "showing up".  I will be sure to post pictures and a great post on our walk day success. Please pray for sun shine and pretty weather.

I have a friend and Alpha Delta Pi Sorority sister Katie Allen Bozard who is a talented jewelry designer.  You can check out her Etsy shop at Half Shell Creations.  She has designed a special bracelet just for us the DOC.  She is donating profits from this bracelet to the JDRF.

  I am so excited about it and I LOVE it!!  I hope you will too!! Everything from the blue and silver beads to the i hope charm were chosen to represent us.   I have been wearing my bracelet all over town and people have loved it!  It has been a great conversation piece and it goes with both casual and dressy days.  I know you will love it too!!

Katie has graciously donated 1 bracelet to be given away on my blog during this week of walk excitement!  I know that the lucky winner will love it!! 

Entries will be accepted until Monday the 24th at midnight. A drawing will be on Tuesday.  You can enter multiple times to win.  The winner will need to respond with in 48 hours

Here is how you get entries.

1. Leave your name in the comments section here
2. "Like" the Etsy shop Half Shell Creations (there is a FB like button on the bottom of the page)
3. Share this give away on Facebook
4. Share this give away on your blog
5. Follow this blog

So DOC keep your fingers crossed and I hope you all win but since only 1 is being given away please consider purchasing one for your collection.  If you choose to purchase one and the etsy shop says it is empty please let myself or Katie know as she is able to create more.  This will be an on going partnership.

Joshua's Rock Stars JDRF Walk Video 2011

Joshua's Rock Stars 2011 Walk Video
I hope you enjoy it as much as we do! Thank you so much for everything you all have given to us on this journey we wouldnt be here with out you the DOC!

The winner is...

Okay so I had Jackson pick a number between 1 and 8 and he choose lucky number 4!! YEA Joanne you won!! I hope you love the new toe colors and I am sure you will come up with something so cute to put on your toes!!  Please contact me to collect your prize!!  Congratulations!!

Dont forget the awesome giveaway

Just wanted to remind you to enter the great giveaway on my blog tonight for a set of nail polish from Tips4Type1. I know you will love it as much as I do. You can enter on the Post before this one titled Lucy I'm home! Hope you win!

Shannon

"Lucy,... I'm Home"

I cant believe it has been so long since Ive been on.  I have missed you all so much... This summer was a blur being a "single parent" Monday through Friday, getting ready for the move, Joshua had surgery and renting out our home finding a new home, trying to get walk stuff figured out.  I will be honest I was so far behind I stopped trying to get caught up.  But I managed to keep Joshua alive and stay married to my husband during all the transitions so I call that a win.  To celebrate my return to the real world I have a give away.  I actually have 2 coming up one this week and one next week. 

This weeks is sponsored by The lovely Tonya at Tips4Type1.  She has donated a set of amazing nail polish that she has CREATED!  Check out her website I found it amazing and inspirational!  The blue and sliver is just beautiful! 

I know you will love it too!! After a much needed summer of neglect I carried my self down to this great nail salon in my home town 2 weeks ago and got an amazing pedicure.  The wonderful ladies there decorated my big toes for me which I NEVER do but love so I might be addicted now. 

Funny thing is I thought I had cute feet till I took so many pics of them to get these shots.  now I think I must have the ugliest feet around!! :) anyway don't judge the pedicure.. it is now 2 weeks old and the shots I did take went down the drain when I dropped my blackberry in the sink. (no rice didn't help and yes I am looking for a replacement if you have one lying around).  Anyway lets get on with give away!

Rules:

1. One entry when you leave your name here and your favorite color nail polish (lets make it fun)
2. One entry for "liking" Tips 4 type 1 on facebook. If you already do it will count just let me know.
3. If you blog about this give away you can earn another entry.

So 3 chances to win. Entries need to be in by Sunday at 12am.  The winner will be announced Monday and you will have 24 hours to be contact me.  Due to shipping restrictions from the USPS you must have it shipped to a US address.  The nail polish will be shipped from Tonya directly :) I'm so excited!!

**Edit for clarification- YOU GET BOTH colors!!! I just wanted to know your favorite all the time color as something FUN!! YOU GET BOTH blue and silver because TONYA ROCKS!!

Christmas in July

Over the last year or so you have heard me mention my sister. She is an amazing supporter of us and our journey with Type 1.  What you may not know is she is married to an amazing man.  They live in New York State and he is a Peds resident.  He has just started his 3rd year.  He loves my boys 100% and is an amazing uncle for many reasons.  They love Uncle Rob and ask about him often. He is the kind of man you dream your baby sister will marry.  Well Uncle Rob has a special place for Joshua. You see last year when Joshua was dx, Rob picked endo as one of his rotations.  He also volunteered to go to Diabetes Camp!  He had a great experience and sent us lots of goodies last year!



goodies from camp 2010 Jackson loves his sleeping bag!! I was neglectful last year and forgot to post how awesome it was to get this box of goodies.  It didn't go unappreciated I was just so overwhelmed at the time with things on our plate. 



This year Rob volunteered to go back to camp as part of the med staff again. He said he told a lot of the staff about Joshua's story and they started donating things to him. He said one of the staff actually donated some things that she had gotten instead to Joshua.  I was so surprised when this box of goodies arrived. I cant tell you how much the supplies meant and how wonderful it was that so many people wanted to help Joshua out. 

PS Rob has the most amazing handwriting you will ever find!

last year we got a keytone meter. This year we got strips to go with it and 2 back up accuc chek avaias a free style lite to try.



Ive never had a sharps container... we use a wipes bottle :)



With Brian and Joshua both using the Accua Chek Avia we go through a TON of test strips!! In addition we also got 2 bags of Joshua's needles and a new lancing device to try. THANK YOU just doesn't seems large enough!



Rob, I don't think words will ever be able to describe how much it meant to me that you shared Joshua's story and that you connected with people who were so willing to give.  You are an amazing doctor who cares about your patients. I appreciate you always being a sounding board when I need to talk something through.  You are a wonderful person and I am proud that you are my sisters husband! 

Pumping???

Okay so we just got back from the endos office to discuss the move and she wants to move us to a PUMP!!  My emotions are all over the place right now from scared and worried to excited and anxious. Brian has moved to Richmond already. We wont join him until our house is rented.  He will be coming home on the weekends.  Our Endo office normally has 1 class at the beginning of every month. Our awesome Doctor doesnt want to wait that long so she is arranging a class with our CDE so that we can get started soon!  (like Friday)  So as I was walking out of the office what did I do?? I called my BFF who is a scientist by birth and trade and she is figuring out some facts and option for me to help with the decision.  I have alot of research to do and a ton of reading to do. But Id love to hear your advice too. I know several of you have blogged about your research if you can share any of that Id appriciate it.  But I want to hear to would you make the same choices. Do you think you would have liked one pump more then other? What can I do to make the transition better for a 2 year old? If I have a tubbing pump how do you keep a 2 year active playing boy from pulling it out??

THANKS so much for your support already!!

Blog giveaway winners!

I am so happy with how my first giveaway went! THANKS so much for all your sweet comments! I hope you will love Stick me Designs as much as I do! They really are wonderful!!  WE LOVE our bag and am anxiously awaiting new prints so we can give Brian our black bag and I can get a fun funky color :)  Rickina really is amazing and I hope you will consider purchasing a bag from her and make sure to mention Joshua's Rock Stars or my name so that she will credit us with a percentage to go toward our walk team!  Now on with the show.  First let me acknowlegde that there is Misti out there who I entered in the drawing because she was the first to comment but when I was cleaning up some things it was deleted. I tried to find her and get her to recomment I got the wrong Misti. Im sorry for that. so she was #1.  Anyway... The winners according to Jackson my 5 year olds random picking was #100100 and since we didnt have that many comments he repicked  Alexis Nicole of Justices misbehaving pancreas  for the black one and Hallie of the Princess and the pump for the Aqua Deco one.   Ladies if you will please email me at shannondaviscmc@gmail.com with your contact info so I can send these off to you.  I am so excited for you and hope you will loce them as much as we do!!

Stick Me Designs and my first Giveaway

1st let me apologize this post is about 3 weeks overdue.   I have been so caught up with everything that it took a back burner.  Now on to the post

You know how sometimes things are just meant to be? Well that is how I felt about this company. As mentioned in my previous post. My mom and I went on a search for a new Diabetes Bag. I really disliked mine although I was attached and have kept it because it was familiar.  (ever hold on to something to long just because...) My mom discovered this great company called Stick Me Designs. Now to make it even better she lives right near me! I'm an instant gratification kind of person and I really want to see the bag and love it before I purchased it. With her being local this was easy.  We met at a local book store one rainy Sunday afternoon and spent a few hours talking. Rickina had Gestational Diabetes. She didn't like the bags that were out there so she created her own. This lady is smart, and has a million ideas running around. She is like the kind of people you see on Shark Tank.  Anyway I fell in love with her bag and purchased one. While I was doing that she agreed to let me give 2 away!!  In addition to that she said if anyone purchased one from her she would give 15% back to our Walk Team. In the comments section you just tell her you are from Joshua's Rock Stars or mention my name.

I told her I would offer up my opinion on the bag and be very honest.  I want to make it clear I purchased my bag and she gave me 2 to give away. Also check out her site because she has other products she has created and has some special clubs and great opportunities for you to get involved too! Also she has even set up special pricing if you join her VPS (Very Special Prickers club)

The first thing that I loved is the fact that everything has a place. Joshua is currently making the switch from Diluted Insulin to full strength insulin plus he has his lantus pen (he and Brian share one pen) It had a place for the glucagon pen and his meter. there are spaces I haven't used that are for remotes and such for a pump.  You cant see it but in the middle of the 2 sides is a pocket as well and that is where I keep the lancing device.

 there are so many compartments.  I love the zipper pouches. On one side we keep the needles and extra pen needle for Brian.

In the mess pocket I keep the smarties, the used needles extra test strips and lancet pieces.

on the back there is a zipper pouch that fits my fruit snacks emergency, my out of the house log book and calculator.

there is an insulated pocket!!

and yet another zipper pouch. This is where our keytone meeter and strips live. 

PROS: it is compact. When I am just running in the store it has emergency sugar options, and all the supplies I need with out my giant blue bag.  Remember Joshua is 2 so we still have a "diaper" bag too.  I love that it has the insulated pocket with it. I can put the little "frozen ice cubes" in the packet with the insulin when needed.  I also love that when I open the bag nothing goes flying out!!  THIS IS AMAZING!!  I also love that it has some room to grow with us. We have added Brian's extra supplies to it which has saved us a few time and there is room as Joshua moves to a CGM and Pump (one day). I also love that she is right here in Va Beach, VA and is a Navy Wife.  More than that I LOVE Rickina and her story.  Cons: Right now, it only comes in limited boy colors. She is working on this. They have the most adorable owl print right now though that I would buy if Brian wouldn't kill me.  I really cant find fault in this bag!

Also while you are on the website check out the other bags. She has an older bag that I am using as a wallet right now! I loveeeee it too!!

So how would you like to Win ONE?????

Aqua Deco bag

Here is what we are going to do. This is my first give away so bare with me but I think I got the rules down. 
The entries will close on Sunday night the 17th at Midnight.  The winners will be announced on Monday the 18th.  You will have 24 hours to contact me or I will move on to the next winner.

When you leave your comments please let me know which one you want to win. You may enter to win both bags but you will only be chosen one time. Your choices are Aqua Deco or an All black one (Joshua's is all black). Here is how you get entries

• leave a comment here on my blog
• Blog about this on your blog
• Facebook my blog site then leave a comment here
• "Like" Stick Me Designs on Facebook and tell Rickina I sent you over then leave a comment here
• I dont "tweet" sorry :(

Im super excited and cant wait to see who wins!!
 

Whats in your bag???

A few months ago there was a post going around about whats in your bag. well we wanted to participate but it never happened. So I took the pictures back then but just got overwhelmed with everything going on and never blogged.  I thought I would share today.  Please remember that I have a 2 year old. Our bag has to hold a ton more.

 Our blue bag we dont go anywhere with out!

 inside is our green diabetes bag, our diaper change bag, a 31 insulated tote, toys and extra supplies

 The green bag that was given to us in the hospital. This thing is like a pit I cant ever find what I need.

 it does hold a lot but I end up having to search for through everything when I need something. 
Inside is our meter, glucagon pen, keytone meter, calculator, needles, alochol wipes, insulin, smarties, log book for when we are out, testing strips, icing gel

 my adorable little boy pointing to his keytone meter

 Wipes, Gold fish and snack bag

inside snack bag

                                      
Note all the extras, extend bars for Brian, calorie king book, forks spoons, toys, bandaids, back up meter, the list goes on and on. 

What do I want in a bag? Something organized, something neat, something where everything has a place.  SO I went on a search. My mom got involved. We searched high we searched low.  And guess what we found it. Turn in tomorrow to find out what we found!

Our big Annoucement

Well I guess by now it is official, I’ve told family, friends, doctors know and its even been posted on Facebook.  Time to make the last announcement.  Team Davis is relocating to Richmond, VA.  We are both excited and nervous. In denial and a crazy state of getting ready.  We currently live in Chesapeake VA. This is only about 2 hours away but it is one of the scariest things I’ve done. (okay so using the glucagon gun on Joshua's 1 year anniversary was the scariest but you know what I mean)  Last year rocked our family, financially and emotionally. On top of Brian's T1 supplies Joshua was dx with a 6 day hospital stay, then of his supplies, Brian lost his job, Jackson had several medical issues and the list goes on and on.  Brian found a job 3 months after losing it but it was a 50% pay cut from our regular salary. So this last year we haven’t ever caught up. Family and friends have been amazing pitching in and helping but we had to look for something more.  Brian is a Speech Therapist who has experience with Children and Adults so when this company came looking for him and fell in love with him they made an offer quickly. He is great at what he does.  While I am proud of him, I am scared of this new future.  The financial compensation will be helpful and with time we should be able to "breathe" again.
The issue is Chesapeake is the only "home" I’ve ever known.  All of my friends, family and support system is here. Yes we know people in Richmond and they have learned about Joshua from FB but really they don’t know Joshua like our people here do. On top of that it means an entire new team for his Diabetes and Patricians. I love our doctors here. They know us. They love us, they know him. When we walk in they know our names. They lived through the first few days with us. They lived through the first year. I know I am being silly.  Military people do this all the time. I have a dear friend who is relocating to Germany. I know it is only 2 hours away but it is still leaving everyone. 
The plan is that Brian will move to Richmond July 18 to start work there and then come home on the weekends until we rent our home out and then we find a place there. This also means Ill be solo m-f for all the overnight checks.  I know Laura does it all the time and man she is my hero! 
I am excited about the opportunity it will present us with however I am scared out of my mind.  Has anyone relocated with a Child with T1? what are your recommendations? If you were allowed would you travel 2 hours for your endo or find a new one???

more to come...

I cant believe it has been so long since I posted!  I am have been around lurking on the boards and commenting but ive been in a funk these last 2 months.  I have been overwhelmed with lots of things going on in our life and I couldnt find my voice.  Im not making any huge promises but I will say I want to be better at blogging and connecting. I miss you all, I miss the comments of encouragement on a bad day, I miss the funny comments to cheer me up.  Ive got some exciting news that I will share in the next day or so. (no there isnt another little Davis coming) and I also will be hosting my first blog giveaway!! Im super excited about that. 
So Ill see you later this week!!

What do yall drink at your house??

THanks so much for the great advice the last few days.  I thought Id pick your brain one more time. For those of you keeping track, Ive managed to write several days in a row. Im pretty proud of my self. Ive been catching up on blogs too and leaving comments! THANKS so much for everything you all are writing about it is so helpful and really pulling me out of my funk! THANKS!!
Okay so not to the question... do let your kids have crystal light and other water flavors?  At our house we try to limit juice to 1 a day. We do white milk, and water most of the time.  I use crystal light for me but I have tried to stay away from it for the kids simply because of the nurtasweet and splenda in these things. Im looking for options for the boys.  They will drink water fine, but I wanted to give them some options.  There are websites all over the place saying kids shouldn't have the chemicals in the water flavor drinks but Im trying to avoid the constant shots from extra milk and the extra calories and sugar spikes of juice all the time.  What are your go to drinks? Remember my kidos are 2 and 5 so we dont do the soda option for them at all.
So tell me whats your opinion?

To carb or not to carb... that is the question

Okay so we all have our goal for overnight and while they all vary I am sure we all face this same issue.  When do you add carbs and when do you just wait it out?  Here is what is going on with us. Joshua is supposed to be between 150-350 over night. Yes that is a huge gap but remember he is just now 2.  We strive for between 150-300.  Anything over and we are to give insulin. Anything under and we are to give carbs.  Sounds simple right??
Here is what has been happening lately. We check at midnight and at 3am.  He will be in the 170-180's. It sounds like a great number and for some of you it would be.  But to us it means far less sleep then a high or low. it is just unknown. Joshua is like a gas tank. When he is between full and 1/2 it takes a while to go down but when you get to 1/2 he can go empty fast.
So that 170 could be going up... or it could be going down. If it is going up then okay great. If it is going down... well we all know how fast that could happen... and what if, I miss the 3 am check.  So I am left hanging out for another hour to see what happens. now it is 1 am and his number has moved only a little in either direction. Still no idea and so then we wait some more... now it is almost 3 am.  What if he is 160? do you go ahead and put carbs on board, just incase?? We did once and boy did we regret it we woke up to a 468 bg.  We didn't add carbs one night and he woke up to a 62 at 3am.  What if I had overslept? what ifs are causing me to loose a lot of sleep.
What do you do?? What is your magic number and do you have a curve on that?

Meal time drama

I know Ive been mia lately and for that Im sorry Ive tried to keep up with reading but that hasnt gone to well.  I have lots of post to do in my head, Joshua turning 2, Jackson turning 5, and amazing gift we received, our A1C score, whats in my bag and a great article I read about a Diabetes driver for the indy 500.  They will be coming in the days ahead I promise.  I have loved reading everyones blog and it has been so helpful. THANK YOU.  But today I come to you with a very frustrating situation.

Since turning 2 Joshua has developed well lets say... some independence.  He has never been the best eater. We struggled to get him to eat baby food, and then to move to table food. But this last year its been better.  Not great but not bad either.  Now all of a sudden he wont eat.  I mean flat out refusing.  Ive tried the 2 choices Ive tried to play silly games to get him to eat but REALLY!! come on... He will like something today and tomorrow refuse it the worst meal for us is breakfast. By far everyday this is a struggle. He wont eat oatmeal, cereal, toast, eggs, pancakes, or waffles anymore.  With Jackson if this was the case we would end meal and he would eat when hungry at the next meal not an option here. So instead I have Jackson eating great at the table and then Joshua screaming no, done now... I never wanted to be a short order cook at my house and now not only am I offering option after option, but now we are playing ridiculous games tyring to get him to eat.

I know there is not really an answer to this I just had to vent my frustration with this processes and the fact that I have to get my 2 year old to eat when his BG says not when his tummy says. 

A New D-Mama

Hey yall I was actually blog hopping today when I should have been doing taxes... ugh... any way I found a super cool new mom and I wanted to share her blog with you!  She has a daughter who was dx back in feb.  You may have already found her and I am behind but if not check it out!!
http://type1diabetic3yearold.blogspot.com/

to the DOC

Not sure if you have seen this before I may of posted last year but this is something I found shortly after diagnosis and it is still something I read when having a really bad day.  Hugs and love to you all!! 


How God Selects the Mother of a Diabetic Child
by Erma Bombeck 

Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice, a few by social pressures and a couple by habit. 

Did you ever wonder how mothers of children with diabetes are chosen? 

Somehow I visualize God hovering over earth selecting his instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As He observes, He instructs His angels to make notes in a giant ledger. 

"Armstrong, Beth, son. Patron Saint Matthew." 

"Forrest, Marjorie, daughter, Patron Saint Cecilia." 

"Rutledge, Carrie, twins. Patron Saint Gerard. He's used to profanity." 

Finally, He passes a name to an angel and smiles, "Give her a child with diabetes." The angel is curious. "Why this one, God? She's so happy." 

"Exactly", smiles God. "Could I give child with diabetes to a mother who does not know laughter? That would be cruel." 

"But has she the patience?" asks the angel. 

"I don't want her to have too much patience, or she will drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wear off, she'll handle it. I watched her today. She has that feeling of self and independence that is so rare and so necessary in a mother. 

You see, the child I am going to give her has his own world. She has to make the child live in her world and that's not going to be easy." 

"But, Lord, I don't think she even believes in you." 

God smiles. "No matter. I can fix that. This one is perfect. She has just enough selfishness." 
The angel gasps. "Selfishness? Is that a virtue?" 

God nods. "If she cannot separate herself from the child occasionally, she will never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with less than perfect." 

"She does not realize it yet, but she is to be envied. I will permit her to see clearly the things I see .... ignorance, cruelty, prejudice ... and allow her to rise above them. 

She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life because she is doing my work as surely as if she is here by my side." 

"And what about her patron saint?" asks the angel, his pen poised in mid air. 

God smiles. "A mirror will suffice."

Guest Blogger: My sister

Im so excited! I've never had a guest blogger before.  For those of you who haven't "met" my sister, she is an amazing person.  She is a newlywed and has a blog that followed her entire wedding planning and is moving in to their life now.  She is married to a 2nd year resident studying pediatrics.  He has this year done rotations in Endocrine which of course is near and dear to our hearts. She is my better half. My best friend. While I am the "older" sister by 4 years she is my inspiration and who I want to be when I grow up. She is an amazing cook, baker (yea I didn't know there was a difference till last year) and friend.  She is an aunt to 5 nephews (2 of mine, 3 of my brothers), She lives in Rochester, NY where she is a sign language interpreter.  We haven't always been best friends but my life is better since we have found out how to be.  We are as different as night and day and yet more alike then anyone I can think of.  She was there when we didn't think Joshua's pregnancy would last, there when he was born and there when he came home a year later with Diabetes.  She is the reason I found you the DOC. She is the reason I started blogging. She wrote a powerful post last year to Joshua and this year she agreed to do a follow up post and give it to my blog,in honor of his Dx anniversary.  If you havent read the first letter I hope you will click on the link above.  I hope you will enjoy it and take a moment and check out her blog while you are there.  

I'm supposed to teach you.

That's the expectation.

They asked me to be your mother before God...but it is you who has taught me about Faith.

I still don't believe that everything happens for a reason. I think sometimes bad things...even really bad things...happen for no reason at all.

I believe It is what we do after that bad thing that learning comes from. The growth. Growth that is a decision and a choice. A hard one but one we must make and commit to. Like Love.

However, it is Faith, as you have taught me, that gets you through during the bad times. It holds your hand and rubs your temples. It finds ways to help 2 hours of sleep feel like "enough". You've taught us all that before the Learning even has a chance to sink in, when Growth seems impossible to master and Love feels like it's... not enough it is Faith that tells us that we will stand again after the rug has been pulled out.  Faith helps us to stop seeking Reasons & Faith holds us over until we've met an equal friend Acceptance.

I'm supposed to teach you.

That's the expectation.

They asked me to look after you during those first nights when you came home from the hospital as a baby. And then when you came home again...a baby still.

It was you who taught me about Strength. Strength sometimes comes in the smallest packages.

You still touch and teach more people than you will ever know. Every doctor and nurse who had never "seen a diagnosis on someone this young"....every mother who had never "heard of sugars so high". You are special. Special in a way that years to come you might resent and recoil from. Special in a way that makes you curse and say "Why Me?" And when that day comes... when it all seems too much...I'll be there.. trying... to teach you about Faith.

One day, I hope I can teach you. But for now, and on this day, it's me that is learning every single step of the way.

Thank you Sara, for your loving words marking this special week.

One year ago today

One year ago today I was out of town, Brian was home with boys. We didn't know it but Joshua had been silently fighting for his life for months and now he was within a few hours of loosing his battle. His body was fighting itself and we had no idea. His body was shutting down, his BG was over 1260. He was dying.  The doctors later told us we had just a few hours before we lost him. They had been observing him for several hours thinking he just had the flu.  We are so thankful for the doctor who finally realized he wasn't fighting a flu but something far more lethal.  It took my girlfriend 6 long hours to get me home. The only thing I had to go on was this photo my brother sent me, because I needed to see him. 

This is not what he looked like when I left for the trip.  In less then 12 hours his body had given up the fight. 

Joshua fought, we learned and together we have survived this year.  Today is his one year D- Day. We were going to have a quiet day today go to church, go meet the in-laws for dinner and just really enjoy each other and celebrate in the fact that we have survived.  
Someone had other plans.  All year I have said Glucagon is the best $200 I spent, it is my insurance plan.  Well tonight, at 2:30 am on our 1 year anniversary lucky me I got to use it.   
In a year we haven't had numbers as good as we did these past 2 days.  I thought "okay, yes we can have good numbers".  *Remember Joshua is supposed to be between 150-350 overnight. He is 23 months old so the doctors are more cautious with his numbers.  
He went to bed with a good 143 and 12 carbs uncovered. At midnight he was 118 so we tried to do banana (he can eat one in his sleep), he refused, we tried milk, he refused, we tried apple juice, he refused, we tried icing he refused, we couldn't get him to take anything.  He then 30 minutes later drank 4 oz of apple juice after I begged him to... have you ever tried to beg a 23 month old to do something... well in less then 5 minutes he threw it all up! EVERYTHING came up!  I retested and he was down to a 77.  

So I called our on call doc. He says pull out the glucagon and give 10 units on our syringe.  

THIS scared me to death, I am not sure why but I think I would have been better with him telling me to come to the ER.  All I could think in the back of my head was all the wonderful posts I have read lately about other D momma's who have had to whip out that red box and break the seal.  I walked around the kitchen saying " I will not be scared of the glucagon, I will not be scared of the glucagon."  We retested just before giving it and he had gone up to 88.  Okay I thought maybe we wont have to use it maybe some of the juice got absorbed.  He wanted his binkie so I put some icing on it and he took it.  Retest and up to 92.  "Okay great now i know we wont have to use it!!" 5 minutes later he thew up again. Retest back down.  Retest in 10 minutes and back down again.  This time I knew we would have to use it.   

So I took a deep breath and mixed it.  I wasn't giving it as a matter of life or death and I never thought you would use it at a 77 or above. Instead it was given as a way to avoid a life or death situation, tonight it was used as a tool.  Tonight I was reminded that there is so much more I still need to learn about this new road we are on. Tonight I was reminded that no matter what Diabetes doesn't play fair.  

 So after 30 minutes he was up to 199.  Then 1 hour later he is at 277.  I was reading protocol online and it seems as though my doctor had me a give a TON for his age.  10 units???  I don't know if it is because he uses the smaller syringe.  But 10 units seems like a lot in comparison with the other stories I have read.  I have chosen to give him .5 units of insulin since he is jumping so quickly.  This is the first time I have chosen to do something on my own for him with out consulting the doctor first.  I think he is going to be in the 400's if I dont put a little on board.  I may have to eat these words if at 7 am we are still yo yoing around.  30 minutes after the insulin was on board he was at 270. so at least he is holding steady.  
This is not how I planned to spend our celebration day and yet it just seems so fitting doesn't it??  
Please remember I am not a doctor and I recommend you contact your personal endo before choosing to follow my example. 
Here are some good blogs I could find tonight on using the mini glucagon technique. If you have one you would like me to add please email me and I will add it.  
Beta Buddies
This is Caleb
Justice's Misbehaving Pancreas

Im still here

My dad is recovering at home and is adjusting to his new normal...  We have had croup here so he only went on 1 of the scheduled play-dates a follow up post to come. I wanted to thank you all for your kind comments and warm thoughts.
Also,  If you haven't ventured over to my husbands blog check it out!  He is a wonderful writer and he has posted the poem he wrote after we came home with Joshua.  Sunday will be our 1 year mark and I will post more later about all that. I just wanted to give him a quick post about his touching poem.  I hope you love it as much as I do.

Faith...

I have picked them, each of them, I have trained them, I have prayed for them.  Now, the week has come for me to lean on them.  Each one of them has asked what can I do? How can I help?  Now it is time to take the leap.  In case you haven’t guessed I’m talking about Joshua's team. 

Joshua has his first solo play date scheduled for Wed, so I can be at the hospital checking on things and helping mom. I will drop him off at Megan's house around 8 am then Jackson to school and to the hospital I will go. I will try to be back to Joshua by 1:00 This means she will have a snack to cover at 10 and lunch to check and cover.   She is ready she says. I know she is... She is a mother and a RN.  I know he will be in great hands. 

Then Thursday…yes, 2 in 1 week <I may need drugs to get through this>, my good friends Deanna and Anna will team up and take Joshua till 11:45 and then add Jackson till 1:00.  Together they will have 5 children.  I know they can do it. I have faith.  They are meeting Brian tomorrow during Dads surgery for a play date to try it with supervision first.  They have been with me 1-2 times a week for kids stuff all year. They know his moods; they can read him like a book. They too will have snack and lunch to take care of. Then Friday my in-laws have graciously offered to drive down and help out. They will be here for an afternoon session, which means they won’t have too much to do before Brian gets home. They had experience at Sara's wedding and I have complete faith in them too..

So if I have faith in all these people, who are smart, knowledgeable, and educated why when I was calling them was my heart racing, palms sweaty, and FREAKING OUT!!  I know I have taken a large step in the right direction getting everything arranged and yet I feel like I may not make it through this.

How do I make sure he has everything he could possibly need... How do I make sure they know it is more than science behind the math it is an art form.  How after all the devastation last week in the DOC do I let go.  I know they must be scared too.. I would be but they are stepping up. They have faith that our 3 hour training gave them enough knowledge to keep him.  Faith is a funny thing. You have to put your entire heart in it or you will not make it to the other side.  I have faith. Faith that my dad will be okay, faith that my friends have the knowledge needed, faith that I will pack everything he could need. Faith that this is a hurdle I can jump, and faith in God that if I believe really really hard and actually walk away for a few hours he will be okay when I return.