One year ago today

One year ago today I was out of town, Brian was home with boys. We didn't know it but Joshua had been silently fighting for his life for months and now he was within a few hours of loosing his battle. His body was fighting itself and we had no idea. His body was shutting down, his BG was over 1260. He was dying.  The doctors later told us we had just a few hours before we lost him. They had been observing him for several hours thinking he just had the flu.  We are so thankful for the doctor who finally realized he wasn't fighting a flu but something far more lethal.  It took my girlfriend 6 long hours to get me home. The only thing I had to go on was this photo my brother sent me, because I needed to see him. 

This is not what he looked like when I left for the trip.  In less then 12 hours his body had given up the fight. 

Joshua fought, we learned and together we have survived this year.  Today is his one year D- Day. We were going to have a quiet day today go to church, go meet the in-laws for dinner and just really enjoy each other and celebrate in the fact that we have survived.  
Someone had other plans.  All year I have said Glucagon is the best $200 I spent, it is my insurance plan.  Well tonight, at 2:30 am on our 1 year anniversary lucky me I got to use it.   
In a year we haven't had numbers as good as we did these past 2 days.  I thought "okay, yes we can have good numbers".  *Remember Joshua is supposed to be between 150-350 overnight. He is 23 months old so the doctors are more cautious with his numbers.  
He went to bed with a good 143 and 12 carbs uncovered. At midnight he was 118 so we tried to do banana (he can eat one in his sleep), he refused, we tried milk, he refused, we tried apple juice, he refused, we tried icing he refused, we couldn't get him to take anything.  He then 30 minutes later drank 4 oz of apple juice after I begged him to... have you ever tried to beg a 23 month old to do something... well in less then 5 minutes he threw it all up! EVERYTHING came up!  I retested and he was down to a 77.  

So I called our on call doc. He says pull out the glucagon and give 10 units on our syringe.  

THIS scared me to death, I am not sure why but I think I would have been better with him telling me to come to the ER.  All I could think in the back of my head was all the wonderful posts I have read lately about other D momma's who have had to whip out that red box and break the seal.  I walked around the kitchen saying " I will not be scared of the glucagon, I will not be scared of the glucagon."  We retested just before giving it and he had gone up to 88.  Okay I thought maybe we wont have to use it maybe some of the juice got absorbed.  He wanted his binkie so I put some icing on it and he took it.  Retest and up to 92.  "Okay great now i know we wont have to use it!!" 5 minutes later he thew up again. Retest back down.  Retest in 10 minutes and back down again.  This time I knew we would have to use it.   

So I took a deep breath and mixed it.  I wasn't giving it as a matter of life or death and I never thought you would use it at a 77 or above. Instead it was given as a way to avoid a life or death situation, tonight it was used as a tool.  Tonight I was reminded that there is so much more I still need to learn about this new road we are on. Tonight I was reminded that no matter what Diabetes doesn't play fair.  

 So after 30 minutes he was up to 199.  Then 1 hour later he is at 277.  I was reading protocol online and it seems as though my doctor had me a give a TON for his age.  10 units???  I don't know if it is because he uses the smaller syringe.  But 10 units seems like a lot in comparison with the other stories I have read.  I have chosen to give him .5 units of insulin since he is jumping so quickly.  This is the first time I have chosen to do something on my own for him with out consulting the doctor first.  I think he is going to be in the 400's if I dont put a little on board.  I may have to eat these words if at 7 am we are still yo yoing around.  30 minutes after the insulin was on board he was at 270. so at least he is holding steady.  
This is not how I planned to spend our celebration day and yet it just seems so fitting doesn't it??  
Please remember I am not a doctor and I recommend you contact your personal endo before choosing to follow my example. 
Here are some good blogs I could find tonight on using the mini glucagon technique. If you have one you would like me to add please email me and I will add it.  
Beta Buddies
This is Caleb
Justice's Misbehaving Pancreas